Today my office had a luncheon for me finishing chemo. Delish, but bittersweet.

First, I realize the journey is not over, by any means. My PET scan was delayed, because of Horizon Blue Cross.

Second, I am so scared I won't get better. I don't want to celebrate finish chemo, I want to celebrate something worth celebrating, like winning the lottery...

Also, my boss said to me that this will make me a better person. I replied that it won't. This has made me more cynical and I have developed a greater dislike of lazy people.

These emotions were exacerbated by a voicemail. I returned someone's call Thursday. Today I had a message from this person, asking why I never call her back and asking if I am mad at her. Well, I did call back AND from Friday until today I have mouth sores which made it difficult to talk.