Denoument

I spent so much time fighting to live, now that treatment is over I am left feeling the emotions I should have felt the entire time. Depressed and scared.

I am tired. My brain doesn't function properly. I worked so hard and there is no pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

I'm not old. I'm not even at mid life yet. I don't feel like I've been given a gift of extra time. I feel that I have had my life stolen away from me, and I still don't know if I am cancer free.

Sloan Kettering wants me to pay them $500.00 per month. Yeah. Sure. Here's a check. The problem is all the other medical facilities that lead me to MSK also want a shit load of money. Maybe I should have quit my job and become destitute. The Obama plan.

Why work so hard? Why care? No Christmas bonus. I still feel like shit and the world is still falling apart around me.